The Digital Mirror: Why We Stare at Ourselves in Virtual Meetings

Why we stare during virtual meetings

Our eyes have drifted since we adopted virtual meetings in the spring of 2020. Before COVID, we would enhance our communication by looking at others in their eyes or show that we are obviously disconnected as we gazed around a room. Researchers would call this nonverbal communication of our eyes osculesics, defining how eye contact and gazing can impact the credibility of a conversation. Combined with the virtual world that defaults to a live video of ourselves among the Brady Bunch layout, we have shifted our eyes to the mirrored image of ourselves versus the eyes of our audience. 

Osculesics - Communicating with our eyes

In your next virtual meeting, try two things. First, get some data points on how often you look at the mirrored image of yourself. Determine when you catch yourself looking at your antics and the attention that you give to your non-verbal facial expressions. Next, look at the eyes of your audience. See if you can determine the placement of their mirror on their screen under the context that they are looking at themselves versus at you. Once you see it, it is hard not to look.

This communication disruption is complex because our virtual meeting audience might not be in the direction of our camera—instead, our camera is on the top of our laptop screen or mounted on top of a monitor. Throw in the fact that most office environments have multiple screens, it is practically impossible to make eye contact virtually. 

Saturation of virtual mirrors

Whether on Zoom, Microsoft Teams, or Google Meet, we have grown accustomed to seeing and focusing on ourselves around our screen's perimeter. Looking at someone when talking was once the requirement and ingrained in our upbringing, but the introduction of the mirror in virtual meetings has become a persistent presence.

The virtual world has created an infinite supply of mirrors. These mirrors are not a personal vanity, but it is hard not to stare. This disruption to control and communication is rewiring millennia of human social instinct and oculesics. Some have even dubbed this phenomenon Zoom dysmorphia.

Zoom dysmorphia refers to an exaggerated preoccupation with perceived imperfections in physical appearance as evidenced by prolonged exposure to our image through the use of video conference applications. This syndrome emerged in the literature after the COVID-19 pandemic propelled the widespread use of these technologies. Tomás Teodoro, MD, MSc

Being constantly visible to ourselves activates an internal feedback loop of self-awareness, causing us to focus more on subtly self-editing ourselves. We become affixed on our facial expressions and distraction tendencies because we have become a participant and a spectator in the virtual meeting. While it may make us more comfortable and confident when presenting something due to looking at the familiarity in the mirror, it can increase our anxiety and become an unfavorable distractions.

Reestablish the intent of the virtual meeting

In face-to-face interaction, eye contact is the cornerstone that establishes trust, attentiveness, and emotional connections. To bring this into a virtual meeting, we must commit to reintroducing eye contact by doing two things. First, we need to hide our mirror image. Using the “Hide Self View” (Zoom, Teams) can limit unnecessary self-monitoring. Secondly, commit to having your camera on the screen that your audience is on. Even though the angles might be off slightly and the screen's size may be unfavorable, this small action empowers your camera to be the conduit of eye contact. 

• Use the equivalent of Zoom or Teams’ “Hide Self View” to avoid being distracted by yourself and directing the energy from your posture to instead your audience.

• Position the video window close to the camera so the direction of your attention appears more aligned with the other person. Lean in and look at the audience on the monitor with the camera during key moments (e.g., introductions, closing points) to simulate presence.

  
  

It may feel awkward, but you get back in the swing shortly. Our tendency to look at ourselves in virtual meetings is not narcissism but instead an adaptation to a defaulted distraction. With a commitment to maintaining the benefits of oculesics, we need to adapt to technology to improve our virtual interactions. We need to become more aware of how we see and how we are seen. We must avoid communicating to others as we are look into our own eyes. 

Paradoxically, as immersive communication evolves to be hardware-agnostic, with users interacting across traditional screen devices and mixed-reality headsets, the mismatch in social cues delivered and perceived by users across different devices presents further complications for users to navigate socially. - Predicting and Understanding Turn-Taking Behavior in Open-Ended Group Activities in Virtual Reality